Each year, around my birthday, I find myself thinking about all that has transpired. My thoughts often wander back to my twenty-something self who made a list of the things I wanted my life to include and the things I hoped to accomplish. This list is one of the most ironic things about my life because not one single item has been ticked off. Not one.
Now I could be all spiritual and say that
I made the wrong list. I could tell you that
life has been full of so many things I wish
I had put on it because they are so much
better; however, I don’t think there was anything wrong with my list. It was full of
good things — things many of you may be
enjoying in your own life, like marriage,
children, and running my own company.
But what I wish I had realized much sooner in my journey (when God was prying this
list from my tightly clenched fingers) is that
no matter what life does or does not bring,
He is always faithful to walk with me each
step of the way.
“Single” and “missionary” are two words that currently play a significant role in my life, but neither made it onto my list so many years ago. When I tell people I work as a missionary supporting the work going on in churches in Dublin, Ireland, I am met with many gracious responses. The word “missionary” seems to receive the same welcome as the word “hero,” but as those who also bear this title know, I am just a normal person trying my best to do what God has asked of me.
On the other hand, the word “single” is not met with the same regard. When I tell people I’m single, I am frequently asked the same question: “How do you seem so okay with it?” While I don’t mind the question, it always makes me wonder what life would be like if singleness had not become something to be okay with. What if it hadn’t somehow become the honorable mention of statuses? What if there was a way to reverse this perception and let future generations know that singleness can be a valuable, fulfilling, and God-given way to live one’s life — whether you’re missionary or not?
The older I get, the more I realize that no matter what our journey holds, we all have a lot more in common than we think. We are all striving to make a difference, and we each have passions we wish to pursue. We try to live a godly life, but we all struggle to find balance between contentment and hoping for more. Community is a deep longing in all of us, and whether we are married or not, loneliness comes our way more often than we would like it to.
Now, I am not saying that there aren’t differences. And I’m not saying that I don’t dream of walking down the aisle or having a small person call me mom — because those seem like pretty awesome things to experience. Singleness is certainly a challenge at times, and singleness is an even bigger challenge when you are a missionary starting a new life in a new land with no family by your side. But what I am trying to say is that singleness is also a path that is full of opportunities, and it can be just as much of blessing as marriage.
God is the giver of good and perfect gifts to all of His children, and
singleness is not a consolation prize. At times, the gift of singleness may feel like it fits poorly, and some weeks I may wish it came
with a return policy, but I continue to pray
that God uses this gift to make a difference
in the lives of those around me. The truth
is, we all face the problem of what to do
with our unmet expectations, and we are all
better off when we are doing life together
and encouraging each other on whatever
path God has placed us on.
Stephanie Kosick has been an ABWE missionary in Dublin, Ireland for seven years, working to build relationships and promote church planting and discipleship. She also serves as the administrative assistant to the ABWE Regional Administrator for Western Europe.